Initially you should put a four month time limit on the relationship. This period could be extended if it is clear that the relationship is progressing well after three to four months. Until you are both comfortable in the relationship, arrange the meetings in a public venue such as a coffee shop or restaurant. Be sensitive around issues of transport costs and paying for coffee. Once the relationship is established, you might want to see where each other lives. Initially put a time limit (45 minutes to an hour) to the first one or two meetings – this will take the pressure off both of you.
Before you schedule your first meeting find out:
During each of the face-to-face meetings in the first 4 months, you can use our suggested questions to guide your conversation. This will give each of you the opportunity to share your personal answers to the same questions. You can also talk about the baby/infant’s development – how is it going and what is important at their current developmental stage.
If you are continuing the relationship after 4 months: congratulations! The two of you have created something special – a relationship imbued with the everyday magic that can make all the difference in the life of a child! At this stage you should have a good feel for the next steps in your relationship, but if you need inspiration or support, sign-up for Cape Town Embrace’s Facebook page and newsletter. You can also contact them at any stage for advice.